Today it is 10 months ago that Joey went to heaven. I really hate this count. It’s not fair that I think of how many months he is no longer here with us every 8th of the month. So much has changed. Our lives will never be the same and we are not the same people we once were. Our hearts were broken and they can never be put back together. We feel Joey’s absence every minute of everyday. Our hearts break again each time new memories are created without him and old memories are shared of him. They break when we think of all that he has missed out on or will miss out on. His loss is not something that we will ever get over or past. You don’t ever move on after losing your child. You just live with a hole in your heart and a constant feeling of sadness. I actually had a dream about a week ago with Joey in it. I can still remember every detail. Joe, Joey, Gianna, and I were all in this dream together for the first time. Joey was happy and healthy, laughing and playing around. What I remember feeling was pure happiness. I didn’t have the feeling that I now live with. I didn’t feel the heartache I wake up with everyday and go to sleep with at night. I felt whole again. It was the feeling that I miss and wish I could have back. Joey makes us complete. Ten months later and I still don’t believe that he is really gone. I still think I’m going to wake up one morning from this nightmare. I wish and pray for this.
I’m grateful when others talk about Joey. I appreciate when others share memories of him. I’m blessed to hear his friends talk of him, and I take comfort when I feel like he is sending me signs. I miss him and love him and will always spend my life broken hearted until the day that I am reunited with him. I love you Joey and you are missed with every beat of my heart.